Words cannot adequately describe the courage, tenacity, and strength that I saw in my dad. We did not quite make it to two years, after his diagnosis with stage four colon cancer. We tried our hardest though. It reminds me of that quote: It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times. The pandemic allowed me to work from home so that I could take care of him, which was a tremendous gift to me to have that time with him. It was also very hard, and the hardest thing that I have ever done. It is astounding to me that through his suffering and all that he carried, he led us through it as a family. He demonstrated such courage and wisdom that I continued to learn from him even when the end of his life was approaching.

Of all of his achievements, my father was most proud of being a dad and a family man. He was so proud that all three of his daughters went into helping professions dedicating their lives to helping others, just as he did.

My dad was well known in our hometown of El Paso, Texas for the work he did professionally and for how he loved people. He was a pharmacist who worked to help people get access to health care, which meant that sometimes he caused some “good trouble” breaking down life-threatening barriers to care. As a pharmacist, he developed programs to help low-income and underserved communities get better help for the treatment of diabetes and other illnesses. His life’s work was very much impacted by my grandmother and a shaming experience that she had with a pharmacist. Grandmother came home after that bad experience and told my dad that he should be a pharmacist because he would never treat people that way.

Dad was awarded the prestigious Robert Wood Johnson Foundation Award for his innovative work in the El Paso community. He did men’s groups, where men had a safe space to talk about their life experiences, learn to cook, and get more information about how to manage their health conditions. Dad took a holistic approach to health.

My father also taught me about love and marriage. He was my mother’s biggest cheerleader, and I learned about the importance of expressing and demonstrating love. I saw my parents being lifelong learners together who went on adventures and broke generational curses. My father was also a Sun Dancer, shaman, and medicine man (he transitioned from the pharmacy to becoming an herbalist). Healing was very important to him, and helping people in their healing journeys. He did the Danza del Sol as a prayer for our family to help us heal and studied with indigenous shamans in Latin America.

Both warrior and nurturer, he was not afraid of a fight or letting his granddaughter paint his fingernails. He loved unconditionally, and always tried to do the right thing. From a very young age, he taught me lessons about loving people and helping others through his example.

One experience that I had with my dad carried with it many lessons on love, humanity, doing the right thing, compassion, and not judging others or jumping to conclusions about them.

I remember being little (between the ages of 5–8 years old), and we were downtown in the plaza in El Paso, Texas during the wintertime. A man was lying on the floor in the cold weather. He had no jacket and what looked like frozen-looking mucus on his face. I was so worried about this person suffering in the cold, and bewildered about how people seemed to be stepping over him and walking around him.

I asked my dad: Why did the man not have a home? Why didn’t he have a jacket? My dad assured me that these were big questions, and we would talk about them together at home. What was important at that moment was this person who was hurting in front of us. Instead of making assumptions or judging him, my dad walked me over to check on the man to make sure he was okay. I remember my little body was trembling from the cold, whilst I was all bundled up. It was mind-boggling that this person was out there without any protection from the elements.

At that moment, I watched my father take off his jacket and give it to the man on the ground. My father then began to physically shake from the cold. Dad asked the man if he was hungry, and if there was anything that we could do for him. The man asked for a hot coffee and some food, so my dad took my little hand and walked me to a nearby fast-food restaurant, where we got a hot coffee and some lunch.

Upon delivering the food, the man shared that he was a veteran like my dad. He had fallen on hard times. Without the man asking for money, my dad took what he had out of his pants pocket and gave it to the man. I told my dad that I was getting really cold then, and I watched my dad tell him God bless you before he took me to find some warmth.

My father was not a man who just talked about loving people or gave lip service to the message about helping others. This was how he lived, and we loved him for it. Throughout my life, I saw my father willing to give the shirt off his back to a person in need. This manifested in many ways-including him paying for the medicines of people who were experiencing poverty and were underserved at the health clinics that he worked at.

My father taught me, don’t talk about loving people, or helping people…do it. He taught me to use the privileges that I had to serve others, and to be humble. My father’s lessons taught me to start with love, to give of myself, and to work hard.

He lived his life like a prayer. My mother shared the saying I included with his picture above. I think that it is very befitting and accurately captures what he did for all of us, and why he will be sorely missed.

The world feels like a darker place without the light of my dad, and this work of Wisdom Within was born from it. In my pain and grief, I reflected on my father’s life’s work and who he was. Making health care accessible to everyone, and loving people were values that he lived by and shared with me.

I am putting these lessons on love and life into practice here by sharing what I have learned with everyone who could benefit from it. I want to bring more love and light into this world and this is my offering for my dad.

I love you Dad. ❤ Thank you for the gifts and the lessons that you have given me.

Maria Elena